Onion News Network

Some of the funniest satirical News reports ever made!

Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard — by Masta F00 — last modified 2009-02-26 20:05

The MacBook Wheel lets consumers accomplish everyday tasks like typing with just a few dozen spins and clicks of a wheel.

9/11 conspiracy theory — by Tusakano ze god! — last modified 2009-03-04 23:19

A man argues to an Al Qaeda operative about how the U.S. government staged 9/11 and that Al Qaeda didn't.

Are Violent Video Games Preparing Kids For The Apocalypse? — by Masta F00 — last modified 2009-02-26 20:01

Panelists debate whether games like Fallout 3 and Gears Of War 2 are teaching children skills they'll really need in the End Times.

China celebrates status as number one polluter. — by Tusakano ze god! — last modified 2009-03-04 23:16

Chinese celebrate as the UN's new study shows them as the number one polluter.

Courageous Man Refuses To Believe He Has Cancer — by Masta F00 — last modified 2009-02-26 19:58

On Today Now, Peter Hedgemont shares the inspirational tale of how he has refused to let a cancer diagnosis convince him he has cancer.

Freedom Tower construction — by Tusakano ze god! — last modified 2009-03-04 23:33

An Al Qaeda operative rejoices for the construction of the Freedom Tower that will be built on the ruins of the Twin Towers. "It must be seen for many miles."

Human head found in hamburger. — by Tusakano ze god! — last modified 2009-03-04 23:13

"I just took a bite and i knew then that somethign isn't right..."

Least Influential People List — by Tusakano ze god! — last modified 2009-03-04 23:11

A Times list of least influential people.

Should The Government Stop Dumping Money Into A Giant Hole? — by Masta F00 — last modified 2009-02-26 19:59

With the economy sliding deeper into a recession, panelists discuss whether it's time to stop throwing our money into a massive pit out in the desert.

Sony's Stupid Piece Of S*** That Doesn't F****** Work — by Tusakano ze god! — last modified 2009-02-25 12:21

a hilarious news report about sony's new stupid piece of f****** s*** that doesn't do what its supposed to. *Must See

Stab wounds may lead to shorter life. — by Tusakano ze god! — last modified 2009-03-04 22:57

Stabbing monkeys does indeed shorten their life span, no matter where you stab them...

Warcraft Sequel Lets You Play A Character Playing Warcraft — by Masta F00 — last modified 2009-02-26 20:02

World Of World Of Warcraft's amazing level of detail makes players feel like they are actually in a cramped, dark apartment playing World Of Warcraft.